Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize