Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
