I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
