There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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