i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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