According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
