mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
