the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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