MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
