I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
