would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
