Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
