They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
