She is in my trunk
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize