actually, I'm a sock model
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
