That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
