i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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