Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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