you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
two words: eviction party
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
my god I love twenty year old dicks
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
