Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize