Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
