i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Randomize
