what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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