you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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