were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
