There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
