no, he came in my armpit
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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