i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
