I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
