We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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