i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
These tits shall not be calmed
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