sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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