Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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