Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
