Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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