summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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