Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
