ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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