If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Randomize