$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
