I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
