I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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