Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
