brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
