I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
birth control should be required to get into college
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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