singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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