I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
