I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
