Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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