If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
