I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
