Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
