David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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