i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize