There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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