If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
