So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
that may or may not have been my penis.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
