apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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