I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
