So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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