i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
