The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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