That's intense
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
