I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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