The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Drunk is a universal language darling
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
