Banned from zoo.
Again?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize