i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize