There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
