Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
