remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
