You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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