cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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