my mouth tastes like poor choices
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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