I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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