dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
